New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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