Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
