Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize