Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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