Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize