yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
