you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
