By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
