Me. At least after what I've been through.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize