Do vagina's smell?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
