the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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