I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I am naked and annoyed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
