Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
