I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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