I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
