yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
