Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
