I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
