my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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