5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
