There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
