addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You made out with two different species that night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
