Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
