At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
