We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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