I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
