This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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