My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
