haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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