im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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