the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
