we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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