ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
