well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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