Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize