You made me cry and you don't even care
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
