It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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