Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
