I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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