Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
