I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
