I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
