everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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