Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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