Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
