Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
