My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
