school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
