dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
