i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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