I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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