You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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