On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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