I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
