I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
