summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
