did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
my poor anus
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
